One of my greatest joys in life is being a father…uh, no, being a DAD. There is an old saying that goes “Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad.” For the last several years I have been a Dad to 4 amazing sons. In those years I have done the following things:
- held crying babies
- changed diapers
- made bottles for 2 am feedings
- cleaned vomit
- seen first steps
- kissed boo boos
- hugged them
- kissed them
- tucked them in
- made the Boogeyman go away
- dealt with a broken arm, broken toes, broken fingers, several sets of stitches, and a couple of ER visits
- taught them to ride a bike
- laughed with them
- been the exterminator (my second son has a fear of spiders)
- been a chaperon on several class field trips
- been to every parent-teacher conference
- protected them
- taught them about the importance of Please and Thank You
- taught them respect
- taught them to open doors
- taught them about ladies first, basically I taught them to be Gentlemen
It’s not all good though…
- I have cried, with them and because of them
- I have scolded
- I have yelled
- I have punished
- I have been called a meanie, a tyrant, evil, and other words that have left me speechless.
Through it all, I am now and will always be proud to hold the title of “Dad”. I never imagined I would be ever be a single dad, but that is where I found myself many years later, a single father of four teenage boys. Suddenly co-parenting had a new meaning.
My divorce was the exception to the rule, it was an easy, friendly divorce, no court, no moderators, no judges. Our priority was the boys and making the transition as easy and painless as possible. Success! But now how to do we parent from two households, where each house had its own set of rules and 90 miles apart? Consistency and communication were key to this. Basic rules stayed the same such as the same chores in both homes and homework priority. I’m not going to lie, rules were a little more lenient in my home, but the general rules were the same
Then there were the expenses, communicating about expenses like school fees, school clothes, sports, and other expenses, started to get complicated. E-mailing forms and receipts and all the backup paperwork became tedious. Enter SupportPay.com. It has made our life easier. We now have a centralized place to share our kids’ expenses, documents and forms. We can track my child support payments and even track any agreed upon joint expenses. My favorite part is that I can see where the money is being spent. I never have to ask where my money is going.
SupportPay has eliminated one of the hardest part of being a single divorced parent, the expenses. It holds us both accountable, fewer arguments, almost none in my case. The phone calls are no longer about how much was spent and “I need this much” and “You owe me this much” and “Did you send the Child Support?”
Written by: Gabe Vargas