Divorce is a commonplace tragedy. In the United States, around two thirds of marriages end in divorce, but despite this regular occurrence as a fact of life, it still hurts. A marriage is built as a relationship forever – when it turns out this ideal can’t be lived up to, a process of grief and acceptance is the natural journey.
If you’re grieving your relationship and going through a divorce, remember you’re not alone. Understanding your grief and building coping mechanisms to deal with it are vital for rebuilding your life and maintaining a good working relationship with your ex-partner – this is especially important if you’re co-parenting children. Here’s how to cope with divorce-related grief.
Divorce: An Emotional Journey
You can expect to feel a wide range of emotions whilst going through, and recovering from, your divorce. Accepting this emotional journey is an important part of dealing with these emotions. “Whether you’re feeling shame, disappointment, loss or rejection, or falling into periods of anger and disbelief, be gentle with yourself in experiencing these emotions,” says Jared Horn, a mental health writer at Boomessays and Paperfellows. “Remembering that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a relationship is crucial to healing your wounds over time.”
5 Ways To Cope With Divorce-Related Grief
Don’t Bottle It Up
We may never have been taught how to express our emotions – in fact, bottling up our feelings can often be one of the things that contributed to a divorce in the first place. In our society, men are especially restricted from expressing how they feel. As you go through your divorce, don’t make this mistake again. Vocalize your feelings and don’t be ashamed – you have a right to your feelings in the aftermath of your relationship.
Seek Support: You’re Not Alone
The feelings of shame and disappointment that often arise during divore can encourage us to hide the reality of our situation from our family and friends. “A marriage is presented to the world as lasting forever, and we can feel like failures during our divorce,” says Sherly Smith, an expert at OXessays and LiaHelp. “Overcoming these barriers and talking to your family and friends will reveal a caring support network that helps you move through your grief.” You’re not alone.
Keep The End In Sight
At the lowest moments of your grief and sorrow, it feels like this feeling will last forever. It’s a psychological trick that grief clouds our perspective, making it feel interminable and unfixable. However, these feelings will pass. It’s important to remember that there’s light at the end of the tunnel – a new future, where you can use the self-knowledge attained through your experience to build a better life.
Build A New Routine
The grief of divorce is often compounded by changes to our routine – a new place to live, access to your old life taken away. Building a new routine that keeps you busy and active can be a hugely effective coping mechanism for the grief of a divorce. Find a new routine and work on habitualising it. Having your routine can reduce stress and make it easier to manage day to day tasks such as work and eating healthy.
Working to rebuild relationships after your divorce is an important part of the healing process. Finding ways to communicate civilly and amiably with your ex-partner can be challenging after the animosity of a breakup, but there will be many administrative, financial and legal hurdles that require communication and cooperation. Take advantage of the tools that are out there to facilitate these processes, such as SupportPay. SupportPay enables you to manage child support payments, taking the stress out of this arrangement. This can help you move on with your divorce-related grief and help you move forward to getting more out of your life.
And Ending, But Also A Beginning
Divorce is a challenging event to emotionally process, but for many people it’s not an ending but a beginning. A failed relationship is nothing to be ashamed of and rebuilding relationships around you can provide a platform for moving on with your life. The future starts here.