We’re here to help make your lives easier – plain and simple. We created SupportPay specifically to address the basic issues that commonly affect every parent who is raising their child after a divorce. But it’s also true that while we can make the child support payment process easier, we also know that many couples would like to co-parent. The problem, of course, is that co-parenting after a divorce can be tricky. In fact, it can at times be very difficult. Each child and each family present a different need and have a different set of circumstances. But there are some helpful guidelines that we believe you can follow.
- Approach co-parenting with a mindset for success: It’s a tried and true believe today, but a positive attitude will give you the drive and energy to make a sometimes difficult situation manageable. If both parties go into co-parenting believing it will fail, there’s a high likelihood that it will fail. But if you approach it with a positive attitude, and realize that even the easiest of situations will still require patience and hard work, then you will set up a winning scenario for making co-parenting a positive experience.
- Put your children first: The worst thing that can happen in a divorce is to allow animosity to build. And when animosity builds between divorcees, oftentimes its the children who suffer. This is why it’s important to understand that co-parents must put their children first. This means truly working with the other parent to understand what your child needs, why they need it, and how you can make it work. Sometimes this means being a team, and working through issues with your child together – even having talks together as mother, father and child. Putting the child first means that you put anything about the divorce last.
- Be a team: Look at it this way – you’re in it for the long haul with your child, and the other parent will be a part of your child’s life. That means you’re going to have to work with them. Which means get in the mindset of being a co-parent as a team. Don’t look at responsibilities as his or hers. Look at them as yours. As a team, co-parents don’t let divorce get in the way. And share everything to – shared expenses, shared time, and shared joy. Learn to understand what a team of parents look like – even as you remain separated.
- Respect the other parent: Again, divorce is a breeding ground of animosity. Whether its payments, child support, or custody, its very easy to let the bitter acrimony bleed into how you parent. But it’s crucial, and psychologists agree, that you maintain a positive attitude to your ex with your child. Let your child understand that the mother or father is still a good, caring parent, and that they should be respected by the child. If a child loses respect for both parents, it’s a lot more difficult to co-parent. Respect is paramount.