Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

We’re here to help make your lives easier – plain and simple. We created SupportPay specifically to address the fundamental issues that commonly affect every parent who is raising their child after a divorce. But it’s also true that while we can make the child support payment process more comfortable, we also know that many couples would like to co-parent. The problem, of course, is that co-parenting after a divorce can be tricky. In fact, it can, at times, be challenging. Each child and each family present a different need and have a different set of circumstances. But there are some helpful guidelines that we believe you can follow.

1. Approach co-parenting with a mindset for success: A positive attitude will give you the drive and energy to make a difficult situation manageable. If both parties go into co-parenting believing it will fail, there’s a high likelihood that it will fail. But suppose you approach it with a positive attitude and realize that even the easiest of situations still require patience and hard work. In that case, you will set up a winning scenario and make co-parenting a positive experience.
2. Put your children first: The worst thing that can happen in a divorce is to allow hatred to build. And when hatred grows between divorcees, often it is the children who suffer. This is why it’s essential to understand that co-parents must put their children first. This means genuinely working with the other parent to understand what your child needs, why they need it, and how you can make it work. Sometimes this means being a team and working through issues with your child together as a family. Putting the child first means that you put anything about the divorce last.
3. Be a team: Look at it this way – you’re in it for the long haul with your child, and the other parent will be a part of your child’s life. That means you’re going to have to work with them. Which means get in the mindset of being a co-parent as a team. Don’t look at responsibilities as his or hers. Look at them as yours. As a team, co-parents don’t let divorce get in the way. And share everything to – shared expenses, shared time, and shared joy. Learn to understand what a team of parents look like – even as you remain separated.
4. Respect the other parent: Again, divorce is a breeding ground of hatred. Whether its payments, child support, or custody, it is easy to let the bitter acrimony bleed into how you parent. But it’s crucial, and psychologists agree, that you maintain a positive attitude to your ex with your child. Let your child understand that both the mother and the father are kind, caring parents. If a child loses respect for both parents, it’s a lot more difficult to co-parent. Respect is paramount.