It is said that the number 1 predictor of how children will do when their parents get divorced, is how well the parents get along. It may sound like a foreign concept to get along with your ex. After all, you don’t want to be in a relationship with them anymore. However, when you have children together, there is a huge part of the relationship that never ends. So, once the marriage is over, there has to be mourning for the loss of that part. Then at some point there has to be a realization that the children and their needs are more important. Co-parents have to be able to say that the love for their children is much more important than the dislike or hatred of their former spouse. Putting the children’s needs first and celebrating them, should be the focus of this newly formed relationship.
Nobody ever begins a relationship with the intention that it is going to eventually end and go south. Children shouldn’t become victims simply because the love interests of their parents change. If anyone should be adults in the craziness of the situation, it should be the parents who choose to take the high road, right? What a great example to set for your children. So many couples today are doing right. They are setting aside their own agenda, the dislike of their former love, the unrest that the relationship may have brought about, and realizing that the health of their children is a much more lofty goal to strive for.
When SupportPay was formed, this is exactly what the goal was. Let’s make sure we are taking care of our children and their needs, and providing for them in the best possible way. SupportPay allows co-parents to communicate easily about the financial needs of the children in a way that is non-threatening and simple. Each parent can see what the child needs or how much those needs are costing, on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Each parent can pay their share easily online, without ever exchanging money in front of the kids again. Co-parents don’t need to fight about their share of costs, because it is clearly laid out in front of them. Each transaction can be labeled with where the money is going, what it paid for, and who paid what amount. And everything is clearly documented and recorded to retrieve at any further date.
Finances are always a highly volatile topic to discuss in marriages. Fighting about money seems to be one of the many reasons that marriages dissolve today. Isn’t it nice to know that maybe one of the things that tore your relationship apart is not going to continue to be a burden as you move forward and try to co-parent in a way that is healthy for your child? With SupportPay on your side, you are set up to model healthy communication so that you can love and support your child in every way possible.
Many couples are setting out to break the mold of ugly divorce for the sake of the kids. There have been famous couples who have chosen to live close (even on the same property) to keep things somewhat normal for the kids. There have been couples celebrating their divorce on social media because their focus is not on the demise of the romance, but on the new relationship that will allow them to be kind to one another so that their children will not suffer.
There is a definite shift in our mentality lately that shows parents that it doesn’t have to be all fighting, bashing each other, and duking it out in front of the kids. Maybe selfishness is actually taking a back seat for some of these mature adults. What a wonderful shift it is if that means that children can grow up with multiple relationships around them where adults love and care for them, meet their financial needs, set aside their own agendas, and can be civil toward one another during holidays, celebrations or vacations. Kids don’t need to carry the weight of being in the middle of anything, taking sides, or worrying about their parents feelings toward one another. Let’s focus on raising happy, healthy kids. And if that means being nice to my ex even when I don’t feel like it, well then I hope I can be adult enough to do just that.